how's this for dramatic post of the year?

 i had every intention to blog about efy today.

well, i'm not in the mood.

i found myself on my knees last night.

i just want my old friends.

my old family.

music is the only thing that can describe it.

paramore.

franklin.

emergency.

let the flames begin.

let this go.

for a pessimist i'm pretty optimistic.

whoa.

playing (the man upstairs).

         

-taryn

so ready.

sometimes life isn't fair. it's not fair that we barely even speak to each other now. it's not fair that we feel all this hurt, but you go around like it's no big deal. it's not fair that everything has turned awkward and annoying.

i guess i have learned something. that life isn't fair. you just have to deal with what you got, and always keep the lord on your side. everything will turn out fine in the end, just believe.

-tay

one of those days.

today was a definite venting day,

that's for sure.

p.s. did any of you watch american idol tonight? loved this song.

lady antebellum- just a kiss

-tay

*thank you to sarah for the quote hanging in her bedroom.

overload.

i woke up today in a little debbie downer mood.

{1} snow. like really? you just ruined every hope i had of having good prom pictures. i need sunshine & green.. you cancel both of those out. not to mention i'm going to be freezing my bum off all day.

{2} i basically had the worst dream ever. & that always puts me in bad moods.

{3} my alarm this morning was a phone call from dad telling me to clean the church. YAY, my absolute fav. it atually wasn't that bad & we went to magleby's after, so.. it was all cash in the end. (2 claps for their all you can eat pancakes & buttermilk syrup. i think i'll be fine until dinner).

{4} i'm nervous?

but i'm also very excited for tonight. we spent last night at lowes xtreme air sports for our day date. there's nothing better than jumping into a huge pit of foam & not getting injured. we all decided that we could probably sleep in the pits because they were so soft. :) then we went to the malt shoppe, ate shakes, & talked for 2 hours. love this group!

wanna see a sneak peek of my dress?

she's a puurrdy thing ain' huur?

i'm real excited to show her off tonight.

tay & i are both in the same group,

so wish us luck! :)

-taryn & taylor

here's your cheesy taryn post for the day.. keyword CHEESY.

my mom found out how much i love butterflies {hence the header} & brought me this home from work while i was on my death bed...



i love it!

mainly because they're all pretty. you know, there are some chammy butterfly pictures out there, but you won't find any on this magazine cover, which is great. :)

i love butterflies not only because they're pretty, but because of their story. they start out as nasty little catepillars that are pretty gross. a certain time comes in every catepillars life when they decide to make a cocoon. after awhile, it's time for them to come out of that cocoon.. & it isn't easy. they have to struggle & fight with everything they have in order to break free. & once they do, they become BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLIES! YAYYYY! :):):)

all jokes aside, life is like butterflies. we all have struggles! they may be different, but regardless, we all have them. & no matter how "big" or "small" they may seem to others, it's still freaking hard for the person going through it. (yes, i dropped the "mormon f bomb") life is rough. sometimes, we can kind of control what goes on by the things we get involved in. the thing that matters most is attitude. i've learned so much about attitude my whole high school career.

it's funny because the times that i've been physically/mentally/emotionally struggling the most, my testimony & my spirituality have grown tre.mendously. & really, that's all that matters. life is the cocoon & we all need to struggle & fight in order to be made into butterflies.

"He never said it would be easy, He just said it would be worth it."

-taryn

here's an earful.

i applied to be a lifeguard at seven peaks water park because there are a couple girls in my ward who work there and have the time of their lives. you get paid to stand in the sun all day, who wouldn't want to work there? i got called back for an interview on wednesday and i thought it went really well, but that was only half of the interview. the other half was a swim test yesterday. beside the fact you had to wear a 1 piece and my purchase the night before could have looked like i shopped in my grandma's closet, it was easily the hardest thing i have ever done. easily.

i mean, i aint on the swim team, but i can swim. the first part of the test was easy. you just had to swim in a 13ft pool for 3 minutes, then the last minute you had to hold your arms above the water. not so bad.

i heard the brick was hard, but i never imagined it to be that hard {okay. it's not an actual house brick. it's just a weight in the shape of a brick so that's what they call it.} you have to swim accross the pool, grab the brick at the bottom and continue to swim backwards with your head and brick above the water. i didn't want to fail so i kept trying and trying to swim to the other end, attempting to hold the brick above the water, but everytime i kept going under and losing my breath. i honestly almost drowned. i finally just had to drop the brick and hold onto the lane divider to catch my breath. the lifeguard in charge of the drill dove into the pool to grab the brick, then came up to tell me i did a good job. honestly? i just failed. please don't tell me i did  a good job. he told me i can do it as many times as i wanted. to heck i was going to go back and try it again.

the third part was just saving a life guard. nbd.

then we had to swim 3-100's. {a 100 is there & back, there & back}. okay, here's the part where the "i aint on the swim team" comes in. i was so tired after the first 100 and i still had 2 more to go. swimming is seriously sooo tiring. you use your whole body to swim. not just your legs or arms. your whole body.

after the 2nd 100 with me being the only one left in the pool with a huge line of people waiting their turn, probably laughing at me struggling, i was [ this ] close to quitting. my intentions got the best of me and i just thought, maybe this isn't my place to be. my body was hurting too much and it was just too hard. but then i thought of how dissappointed my family would be because they all know how bad i want this. how dissappointed i would be. something inside me just told me to keep going. thankfully it was enough to help me finish.

that was the last of the test and i was ready to go home. i hopped in the car and just started bawling. i could barely feel my arms and legs. they said if you pass the swim test they'll call you by the 23rd to take the lifeguarding classes and be certified. i'll honestly be surprised if they call me back.

well i guess i can say i learned my lesson. i got home knowing that i didn't do the best, but i did my best, and that's all that matters.

-tay

if this were my age i'd be able to buy alcohol.

but i don't do that kind of stuff so..

Day 21 - your feelings

{basically a journal entry.
i don't generally like when people post big long things,

but.. i did today}

right now i'm feeling very accomplished. i had an exhausting weekend & haven't been that tired since basketball ended. (which probably means i should do more with my life then take naps & watch t.v. with the occasional homework. just kidding, i do my homework) i'm proud of myself for being able to complete such a big task - & i did it all on my own. mom gave me GREAT ideas & tay came to kinkos with me at the wee hours of the night. (thank heavens for 24/7 service) she stayed up for a bit to help me get everything together. i'm so blessed to have a family like i do. always willing to help, loving, basically everything rolled into one big ball of nelson. i took a 4 hour nap to make up for lost times last night & woke up to a lovely dinner mom made. she's the best.

i'm really excited for the future. i thought about running for student council for a long time but never really did anything about it. i didn't really tell anyone except for a few family members. on my way home from st. george - the long 4 hour drive - i thought about it more & more & was unable to fall asleep. which is very weird for me because i could basically fall asleep anytime, anyplace of the day. i just listened to my iPod & looked outside. i mostly saw things photography mode, you know - seeing things & saying "oh! that'd be a cool picture!" but that's when i finally decided that i was going to run for student council.

it's a lot of work. i was on student council in 9th grade so i have a little experience. i know that high school student council is 10x harder but i'm willing to work. i've felt a whole lot of emotions these past few days - nervous, excited, scared, accomplished, tired, happy.. & i've spent a lot of time trying to make my things look nice.

i have my speech tomorrow during lunch & my interview after school. i'm nervous but very excited at the same time. i hope i can get my ideas accross well & in a flowing manner. wish me luck!

-taryn e.

cause when you're FIFTEEEEN!

Day 15 - some goals

i have a whole lot of short term/long term goals
that i hope to achieve someday!

get my personal progress done

get at least a 3.6 this term

don't be late to b4 anymore

get 32 followers by the end of the year

read my scriptures everyday

work out during the summer

FLOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cut the sugar/pop intake down {rough}

get married in the temple

have a good relationship with my husband & kids

make a difference in someone's life

get over the small things

break out of theee shell!

never quit.

-tar

dear journal.

it's the

end.

of.

semester.

holla!

although it's stressful & annoying, i can't wait to get rid of some of my classes. ready for a change in atmosphere x2.

drawing with thomas? you will not be missed.

financial lit. with kris? you will/not be missed. (iffy)

photo with tomas? you will/not be missed. (iffy)

i don't think i'll like semester 2... maybe, just maybe.

hopefullly mrs. eisenhart won't give me as much greif as she did last year,

& my seminary class will still be bomb.

taylor & i have both been interested in nursing our whole lives.

but this year i decided to change.

i'm dropping my MATC classes.

i would be getting my CNA this year, MA next year.

i still haven't decided if it's the right choice or not,

but everything will work out even if it isn't.

as of right now, there's no such thing as a b3 or b4 for me.

i was thinking about going into a digital photography class because i passed film photo already. i'm not interested in being a photographer; i just want cool pictures. but it's still unsure.

i'll sure miss taylor though.

we've had 7 classes together this semester.

she'll be driving to AF every bday without me.

i think it will be good for us to break out of the identical twin stage we're in because everyone basically thinks we're the same person.

i think that's a big reason why i'm changing?

the still iffy,
taryn.